A former Division I and professional volleyball player, Lindsy Davigeadono had little previous interaction with either the world of beauty or social media. But after retiring from the sport and becoming a mother to four spirited daughters, she joined Younique - an online beauty and makeup company - as a way to learn what to do with makeup products and one day teach her daughters what to do, should they ask.
But camera-shy Lindsy soon realized that a major part of this opportunity meant putting herself in front of hundreds (and eventually thousands) of online viewers every day - a thought that terrified her to nausea. Yet four-and-a-half years later, Lindsy is one of the most senior presenters in the company, gaining the exclusive Black Status Presenter status.
Below, we interview Lindsy on how she overcame her FOPO (fear of other people’s opinions) as a former social media introvert and build up her personal brand and online presence.
Spinster: What familiarity with social media did you have when you first got started? How did you learn what you needed to do?
Lindsy: I had a Facebook account for a few years prior. I had about 300 friends and rarely posted. I used it mostly to keep in touch with old friends and family. I didn’t know about algorithms, Facebook groups, business pages, Facebook live wasn’t around. Very, very little knowledge when I first started.
Spinster: What kind of FOPO did you experience when you were first building your online presence and brand?
Lindsy: My biggest fear was “What are people gonna think of me? What are they gonna say?” It took me forever to become brave enough to post about what I do on my Facebook wall because I was worried about what people were going to think and say. I was afraid no one would be interested in what I had to offer.
I used to fear failure and it has always held me back in my life. This wasn’t any different. I didn’t want to put myself out there fully because I didn’t want to be a disappointment or have people know that I wasn’t perfect. It’s hard to have everyone watching and you don’t know exactly what they are thinking.
Spinster: How did FOPO hold back your business growth?
Lindsy: Because I hid and played small for so long it took a long time to reach the goals that I set for myself. It would hold me back from reaching my potential and there have been times where I definitely thought about giving up because I was so worried about what others were saying.
Spinster: How did you get past your FOPO?
Lindsy: The growth came by being inspired by others who I looked up to as well as having little wins along the way that would boost my confidence to do more. The fear and weight would slowly leave my shoulders. It’s interesting, when you make yourself completely vulnerable people either love it or hate it and they are not afraid to share their opinions about it. I had a lot of people reach out and tell me that they loved and appreciated what I was doing which was everything to me.
Spinster: Is FOPO something you just get over one day?
Lindsy: In a way yes. I can pinpoint certain moments that helped me change my mindset. All it is, is your mind telling you a fake story or almost even playing tricks on you. My purpose and reason for what I was doing because so strong and clear that I started to stop caring about what others thought and helped me realize my purpose and calling. Once you find that you feel like you can go and do anything. There are still days where I feel down and I now know what to do and say to myself to help me re-center myself with my purpose and mission and realize it's bigger than me. Some people don’t have a lot in life and one of the things no one can ever take away from you is your voice. Some like to use it to be hurtful to try to regain their power back. Not everyone uses their power and voice for good, unfortunately.
Spinster: How do you manage FOPO? Do you have any tricks or tips you could share with us?
Lindsy: If it scares you, you are doing something right. People who I train and coach consistently tell me how scared they are to start the business or to post or go live and I tell them that's exactly what you are supposed to feel.
Fear is a good thing. When you are working to overcome the fear of others' opinions, you know you are going to grow and working towards something big, something that others are too afraid to do. There are still things that scare me and now it makes me excited because I know I am on the right track.
It took me almost 3 months to become courageous enough to go Live on Facebook after it launched. I was sweating and shaking and felt like I wanted to throw up but pushed the live button and don’t even remember what I said. I do however remember deleting it once I was done because I was so embarrassed and ran out crying to my husband about how I just ruined my career because I felt so incredibly raw and real and hated the feeling of everyone just staring at me speechless. 3 weeks later I started to go live every day to overcome my fear and that is when my business took off. Do things that scare you.
Spinster: How do you deal with haters?
Lindsy: It takes time but you learn a lot about people and their demons. So many people in the world are lonely and unhappy and they tend to take it out on those who seem to put themselves out there trying to better themselves. I used to cry and feel so hurt when people would comment mean things to me but now, I honestly just feel bad for them. It’s so sad that they have to go out of their way to put others down to try and make themselves feel better. But, negative opinions are perspectives of insecurities.
I have realized that the more people who are giving you their opinion on what you are doing usually are not doing anything with their life. Who has time to sit and judge everyone when you are trying to change the world? Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- most fools do. The best thing you can do is to keep going, keep pushing, keep growing and you will continue to build your confidence and faith in what you are doing the more times you learn to get up after you fall.
Spinster: How did harnessing your FOPO help you create powerful engagement tactics to build your personal brand?
Lindsy: When you start to learn the process that comes with [personal] branding you start to learn so much about yourself. More than you ever even knew. By making yourself completely vulnerable and putting yourself and your faults and imperfections out there people admire and respect that. You will become more relatable when you start to overcome FOPO because everyone in the world struggles with this. They then want to or feel that they can come out of their shell a little bit and share with you or with others and start to learn and grow more about themselves as well. It's a beautiful process.
‘You start to find your people,’ is what I always like to say. You find those who are going to hate you and those who love you and would do anything to keep you present in their life because you are making a difference.