Melissa Ng is the Principal of Account Management for Slalom, a modern consulting firm focused on strategy, technology, and business transformation.
Though Melissa’s career has grown through Organizational Change Management, she has also diligently worked within major global consulting and marketing companies developing internal women’s leadership programs. These programs focus on creating insights and soft-skills through company-wide events on topics such as negotiation tactics or developing confidence.
As the co-chair of Slalom’s Women’s Leadership Network, Melissa facilitated their latest event, Shameless Self-Promotion: Strategies for Authentic Self-Advocacy in the Workplace. Here, Melissa shares some of her major learnings for Spinster’s entrepreneurs and internal company changemakers.
Spinster: What is shameless self-promotion?
Melissa Ng: Many women are not very good at owning their own accomplishments and advocating for themselves in the workplace. Shameless self-promotion is just the promotion of accomplishments, deeds that the person has already done. It’s a way for others to be aware of your accomplishments, your blood, sweat, and tears that went behind a project. It’s a way to get the well-deserved credit for those late nights and those hours on the weekends. Shameless self-promotion is a necessity and a muscle that is so important for each and every woman to learn.
Spinster: Why is self-promotion, or self-advocacy- so important for women (bonus points if you have insight around how this is important to womxn entrepreneurs)?
Melissa Ng: Currently, less than 10 percent of decision-makers at VC firms are women and 74 percent of U.S. VC firms have zero female investors. That is not ok. There has been a big push for gender equality after the “me too” movement, institutionalizing Times Up, and the Gender Equality McKinsey articles that have been published. Although we are seeing a rise in more women in female executive positions, we’re still lagging. According to the World Economic Forum, “At the current rate of progress, the global gender gap will take 108 years to close and economic gender parity will take 202 years to achieve.”
Self-promotion is so important: look at those numbers. We need to do this for our daughters, our daughter’s daughters – we are responsible for setting the foundation for our future kin to experience equality. 202 years is not good enough for us. We must make sure we keep fighting. We must make sure that people are aware that this is not good enough. We start by having these discussions. I quote Walter Payton: “We are stronger together than we are alone.”
Spinster: In what areas are women lagging in self-advocacy in the workplace? Why is this happening?
Melissa Ng: I had the pleasure of hosting a panel with the writers of the “Confidence Code,” Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. They are well-known journalists that noticed a pattern when they interviewed men and women. When discussing an accomplishment with a man, they often were at ease with taking credit for what they’ve done whilst when it came to women, they were often dismissive and would say something like “oh we were just lucky.” Studies show that many women will wait until they meet 100% of job criteria where men will apply when they meet only 60% of the requirements. What this means to me is that we, as women, need to and have the power to OWN our own mentality. By understanding how we’ve been wired this way based on societal or familial upbringing, we have the power to rewire our brains and change our behaviors by raising our hands for that next position even if we don’t believe we’re 100% ready. I believe you learn more by doing things you’re fearful of. I try to do this at least once a day.
Spinster: How are women perceived when they need to promote themselves?
Melissa Ng: Well see, that’s certainly a Catch 22. In a culture that insists on self-advocacy and then slams you for it, it’s like there’s no way to win because those that self-advocate get coined as “bossy,” “full of herself,” or a “bragger,” but then on the other side of the spectrum, if we keep quiet, we face the risks of not being heard and having our accomplishments be known. I believe the more and more women have authentic conversations about this at work, society, with clients, this will become more of a norm than a rarity.
Spinster: Can women articulate their accomplishments without having the reverse consequences of seeming arrogant?
Melissa Ng: Let’s quote Oprah on this one: “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." One of the panelists mentioned that she surrounds herself with people and messages on social media as women who inspire her daily. One of the things that I’ve seen work is lift others up. Be a “servant leader” – the person at the bottom lifting others up. That is TRUE leadership. By lifting others up, you’d be amazed about how they will do the same for you. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe it’s the power of sisterhood. In reality, it’s probably a bit of both.
Spinster: What are the upsides to self-advocacy?
Melissa Ng: I had an “ah-ha” moment when I worked at Ogilvy & Mather, a very large advertising and media company. At one point in my career, it seemed to me that I was being overlooked for positions or for that raise or for that position and I was frustrated beyond belief until it dawned on me… “Treat yourselves like Ogilvy treats campaigns and that if you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.” Upon the eye-opening experience, I was able to go from VP to Partner and get to work with the most senior of leaders across the business.
Spinster: Do you have any tools or resources on self-promotion you feel women should know about?
Melissa Ng: When you advocate for others, others also come to advocate for you. You need both mentors AND sponsors. Mentors advise you. They can be inside and outside your company. Sponsors advocate for you when you’re not in the room. They are the people who have influence within your organization or industry who can help remove barriers to help you realize your potential and goals.